Have you ever notice that guys usually are mean to girls they like? This is something we see since we are kids, often if a boy treats a girl badly, we justify his behavior by saying that that boy has a crush on the girl. But why do they act like that?
Imagine you just realized you like this beautiful awesome girl, but you don’t know exactly what to do, and most of all you don’t feel like good enough for that girl. So, as we don’t know how to handle what you feel, we lie to yourself in order to avoid some uncomfortable feelings.
This lying is not just because, lying is a defense mechanism our body triggers to protect us. So we don’t just lie to ourselves, but our brains -in order to protect us- hide those things that might be uncomfortable truths.
In this process of protecting ourselves, we convince ourselves that we actually don’t want what we DO want. Why do we do this? To spare us the rejection, the pain or any other negative outcome it might bring.
Take as an example, if you like a girl who you think is awesome. But you fear she might not like you back, or you might just not be good enough for her.
So, instead of confessing your feeling to this girl, you decide to act as if you didn’t even mind her. You begin to act in nasty ways, being mean to her, even hateful.
And you blew any possibility with that girl. So, what we do is to reject what we want instead of waiting to see what might happen. Because it’s easier to act that way than accepting the fact that maybe that precious thing you want, you may never get it.
So, are you gonna keep acting like this? Dismissing opportunities without even give them a try? Or are you gonna try and see what happens?
We all feel vulnerable sometimes, especially when it comes to having feelings for another person. So, the best thing is to accept our desires and that sometimes we can’t do anything about it, or even if we do, it might not be as we want it to be. But accept what we feel, that’s part of accepting yourself.
Chech out this video that explains more about this subject!