There is no one who gets married and hopes that their marriage fails. However, according to data gotten by the National Survey of Family Growth, over 15% of young marriages end in divorce within the first few years with older marriages mostly ending after 20 years.
It is, however, a little comforting to know that there are other people who have gone through what you are going through or have experience in handling such situations. Here are some problems as highlighted by such persons that you might encounter and how you can handle them.
1. Too Many Expenses
The truth is divorce is expensive for everyone and most people can’t really afford it. From the cost of hiring a lawyer to litigation, you get to spend a large chunk of money.
If you’re still young and in the process of building a good financial report, get ready for the expenses.
Now, how do you handle this considering the average cost of a divorce is around $15,000? You could spend less with proper mediation. The overall cost can be reduced to one-third of the total amount or even less. The only challenge you might encounter is your ability to get a good and experienced mediator. If you are able to get one, be rest assured your total expenses for the entire divorce process might cost a little under $5,000.
2. Getting The Right Information
Misinformation is in almost every industry and certainly not an exception when it comes to your divorce. The challenge with misinformation is that brews unrealistic expectations mostly because of what people have told you. Getting the right information is necessary especially if your partner is lost to narcissism. You want to be done with the process quickly. Your friend has told you how they got through their divorce, you are reading an article online, and your colleagues are giving you some advice about the process. How certain are you they’re credible information and if yes, does it apply to your own situation?
The best way to get the right type of information is from experienced, good, and settlement-minded divorce attorneys. They can give you updated and verified information as it relates to your case including a more realistic expectation of the process. That would keep you grounded and able to focus on agreements that are right for your kids and just for both you and your ex-partner. It is important to begin the divorce with the right information so as to avoid unrealistic expectations and especially if you want good agreements.
3. What Happens To My Children Now?
The well-being of your children is one of your topmost concerns during a divorce. You want to be certain that their best interests are looked out for especially if they’re still young.
Divorce is usually can be split into two aspects – children and money. When people hire a lawyer, they concentrate more on the latter; discussing in detail how much you earn alongside how much your spouse makes, and assets you own. In many cases, the meeting concentrates more on how much money you can get from the whole process and how far you’re willing to go after your spouse. These are more or fewer speculations. Amidst all of this, it is rare for some parents to ask what happens to their kids first before discussing money and assets.
How do you ensure the safety of your children during the divorce? Hire an experienced lawyer or mediator and let them be aware of what you have in mind with regards to your kids. The divorce would be tougher on them so you need to do all you can to make the process a little bit smoother for them.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is your ability to hold on to an amazing opinion of yourself even when your emotional needs are not being met.
It’s not out of place to feel your self-confidence slipping away after a failed relationship, especially if you were not the one who called it quits. You see your future seems like it’s crashing in front of you having no idea what’s going to happen next. There’s more fear and uncertainty than you’ve ever known. If one isn’t careful, it can slip into depression.
If you feel this way, you need to begin appreciating yourself more often. Come to terms with the fact that you’re only human and as such, have limitations. Focus on what you’re good at and what you’ve achieved. You also do want to speak with a mental health professional or counselor about what you’re going through.
Separation from a partner or divorce is an emotionally draining event, but it doesn’t take away the possibility of having a healthy separation. On the other hand, going through that process can be said to be one of the toughest in a person’s life. Even though it might lead to a more productive future for both parties, the divorce process is filled with difficulties, devastation, trauma, and stress which you must learn how to navigate.